Monday, May 4, 2009

Now even FOOD has me ranting!

This takes the cake! (Pun intended for later.) For years now I have been mildly PO'd at the fact that you can't buy a POUND of coffee any more. You can buy 13 ounces, you can buy 12 ounces, can't buy a pound. Really hard to find a POUND of bacon, too. But bacon is bad for you, so, okay no big deal. Next thing you know cereal boxes start to shrink. 15 ounces, 13 ounces, 11 ounces. Of course, the prices still remain the same, but apparently the manufacturers think that we are morons and won't notice that the boxes are getting smaller and the prices are getting bigger.

Now you 're probably wondering, "Wayne, where the hell have you been? This has been going on for a while now." I know this. I just haven't been bothered by it enough to actually engage in rant. But then two things happened to thrust the issue into the forefront of my very being. April 02nd happened. Followed by April 28th.

April 02, 2009: I'm buying tuna. Chicken of the Sea - Chunk Light. The kind you use with mayo to make a tuna sandwich. I haven't really paid much attention to tuna cans for years. They have always been the same shape, the same color the same 6 ounce size, I mean, since I was a kid! But something caught my eye. There on the front of the label under the logo as bold as you please: "5 ounces." Wait a minute! The can! The can is the same size! Now they are just putting less tuna in it! WTF? When did that happen? I check all the major brands. Same thing. 5 ounces. Okay, I'm feeling a little perturbed now. Thankfully I grab a can of the store brand, "Safeway Select," 6 ounces. Thank you, Safeway or Von's or whatever you are. 6 ounces of tuna. Okay, no biggie, from now on I'm buying the store brand. But then....

April 28, 2009. Just ran out of ice cream. Better go get some more. When I was younger (no, it wasn't THAT long ago either wise guy), you could buy a 2 quart container of ice cream. Then the manufacturers slid it down to 1.75 quarts. I missed that one so I didn't bother to complain. But now the ice cream containers look kinda funny. They look...small. 1.45 quarts! Here we go again! A couple weeks ago the tuna -- now the ice cream. Okay, fine, no problem, I shouldn't be eating ice cream anyway. Never gonna get to the Big Show on Kona (Ironman World Championships) by eating that stuff anyway. I know! I'll go get some yogurt! That's healthy. Low fat, tasty, sprinkled with a little granola it's probably even better for me. The hammer falls again.

Two in one day! The yogurt -- even the store brands -- are ALL 6 ounces. Down from 8 ounces. Come on! What kind of vast food conspiracy is this? I mean, I know things are bad, but, really? One ounce here, one ounce there. And when did it all go awry? Why weren't we told? Why didn't Andy Rooney do a thing on Sunday Morning? Why didn't 60 minutes have a expose? Hell, even the Local Los Angeles news didn't report on it and they are DYING for something interesting to put on the air. Barack, what's up? Screw the bank bailout, forget about replacing Judge Souter, who cares about Arlen Specter switching parties? We are talking TUNA and ICE CREAM here.

Oh, yeah, the cake thing? Apparently, cake mixes used to be 21 ounces. Now they are like 18. So Betty Crocker and Duncan Hines had to hire some match genius to recalculate all those cake mix formulas so they could rip us off to the tune of three ounces.

I'm either going to have to go on a hunger strike, make more money or find healthy alternatives for the conveniences I've come to know and hold so dear.

Hum. Get back to you.